Sunday, June 30, 2013

Can problem and suffering help you understand life?

Wherever you in live this world — in a hospital, in an urban city, or in your cosy little apartment even hotel suite — you will always experience problems, unsatisfactoriness and difficulties from time to time.

This is just the nature of life. So when you have problems with your health you shouldn't say, “Doctor, there is something wrong with me — I’m sick”; rather you should say, “I’m sick today and there is nothing wrong with me.” It’s the nature of the human body to be sick now and then.

Sickness comes with this body, so does old age, death and unsatisfactoriness

It’s the natural phenomena of life. It’s like how your IPhone got corrupted and erase all your contacts. It’s the nature of life to be this way. Even though we struggle as human beings to try to make life go smoothly for ourselves and others, nevertheless it’s impossible to ensure that happens.

Most of the time we misinterpret that the suffering comes from the world or people around us but it’s impossible for the world to give you suffering, if you don’t take it.

That’s not how this universe works. If you ask for something from people or the world that can’t provide, you should understand that you’re asking for suffering. So anytime when you work or enjoying your holiday, please accept that things will go wrong from time to time. Your job is not to ask for a smooth journey but to observe and how to handle the unexpected. If you can’t beat suffering, stay close to suffering and understand, accept, and let it go. The more you fight your body, your mind, your enemies, and the world, the more collateral damage you’ll cause and the more pain you’ll experience.

It’s the nature of the world for things to go wrong, that’s why the first noble truth taught by the Buddha, life is subjected by unsatisfactoriness and sufferings.

Don’t be a control Freak

We don’t try to control suffering; rather, we try to understand it by investigating its causes. It’s an important point in our practice, because when most human beings experience suffering, they make the mistake of either running away from it or trying to change it.

We don’t blame the iPhone or technology for its inadequacy, that’s just the nature of machinery. They break down and crushed, So we should change our attitude and stop fighting against the nature.

We are wise enough to stop running away from those problems or trying to change them. It’s like having a rotten apple and trying to cut out the rotten parts so you can eat the rest.

Unsatifactoriness, Old age, Sickness and Death is your inheritance. This is what awaits you in the future. This is something that’s certain: you can’t run away from it, all you can do is realising the existence. Everything will get old, disintegrate, and die—everything goes wrong and breaks down. The Buddha-to-be was wise enough to know that even with all his spiritual qualities and accumulated merit, he could not avoid that suffering. A different response was needed: to fully understand it.

Difficult times are wonderful opportunities to sit down and face suffering, to understand it fully and not take the easy option of always running away.

It’s the nature of most human beings to avoid suffering or problems whenever they are suffering, they have their escape routes: shopping therapy, eating disorders, lamenting non-stop. What are we really walking away from? What have we done to understand the problems or sufferings?

There’s the famous story of Kisāgotamī, a mother whom lost his son tragically by asking Buddha to retrieve his son back to life.

The Buddha’s strategy for moving Kisāgotamī away from the grief and suffering caused by the death of her son was to make sure she understands that other people die as well: the death of her son was not the only death in this world. If the Buddha had consoled her and told her to deal with it, I don’t think she would have understand it, so Buddha asked her to collect a mustard seed from a family that death has never occurred.

After spending weeks to find the mustard seed, she finally understands and comprehends the impermanence of life. Even the richest man and most beautiful woman can’t run away from death. She then buried her son and went back to Buddha and asks for ordination to become a nun, she was one of the outstanding nun whom attend arahantship (Enlightenment).


Buddha taught Kisāgotamī to understand the universality of this problem.

When we understand, we don’t just accept things, because that’s not good enough either. To think, Just let it be, this is the way things are, When we fully understand the problem of suffering, what we’re in for, what life is truly like, there’s only one natural response. It’s neither trying to escape but to accept it and take this suffering or pain as a lesson to understand it and how we live our life and benefit others that matters the most...

For all you know, there's nothing wrong with me, I'm just sick.

Inspired by the teachings of Ajahn Brahm on The Art of Disappearing
http://www.amazon.com/The-Art-Disappearing-Buddhas-Lasting/dp/086171668X

Day 4 - After effects of Chemo

Dear Tumor,

The after effects from the chemotherapy is expected but nonetheless not appreciated, I felt giddy and nausea the whole day, not to mention the hiccups in between that insinuating that I need to drink more water when I've drink more than enough of water, fruit juices and tea to make me pee once every hour, that includes when I'm sleeping where it drops to once every 3 hours. Also, I felt that my testicles are heavier, maybe they are trying hard to accommodate the no. of times they have to work on the urine. 

I've been resting on bed the whole day, watching movies and the Aussie reality show, The Block sure keep me entertained. My mum also made me the best porridge, with lots of coriander, tofu, braised peanut, celery and carrots! Also, using the sea salts bought by Sis Betty to bathe myself is very therapeutic, I mixed the sea salt with my Palmolive dead sea salt shower gel, like a bubble bath to cleanse myself. 

I hope you have been taking easy after knowing the chemotherapy will stop all your food supply for you to grow. I also felt that you have shrunk and becoming softer. That means the radiotherapy is taking effect. I hope that this progress will turn you into a better cell (self) that will inspire other kind cells to follow your footsteps.

Till then, I hope you’ll dissolve and evolve into better cell soon.

Cheers,
Your Host

Saturday, June 29, 2013

Day 3 - My First Chemotherapy

Dear Tumor,

Today is the first time you will be experiencing chemotherapy, I have no idea what you'll expect except from hearing the nasty side effects it will bring, but before going through the chemotherapy, I have to undergo the radiotherapy first, they said third time is a charm, it sure sound easier to handle it. I'm quite accustomed with it by now.

The chemotherapy wasn't as bad as I thought, no sign of giddiness or fatigue during the chemo, even when inserting into the vein is less painful than I expected. However, I sure broke the record of peeing 3 times every hour during the dripping. I swear, they can put me in the toilet when the machine can drip and I can pee at the same time.

The nurses are very professional and friendly. They explained all the side effects clearly and the medication I have to take after the chemo. First time, I felt the heat sensation on my throat, maybe because I did the chemotherapy right after the radiotherapy and because of that, no lunch break for me even though the kind nurses offer to get me lunch.

Thankfully, I brought some multi-grain biscuit with me, knowing the chemotherapy will take 4 - 5 hours. After the chemotherapy I was famished which is strange for someone to have appetite after finishing the chemo, I went to the food court to order some vegetarian food, just nice after my lunch, my good friend, Esther (a gracious and generous friend whom have been supporting my charity work thus far, has been amazing and encouraging since I diagnoses with cancer) and my Sister, Lit pick me up with her BMW from the hospital. I even went to the supermarket with my sis to pick up some groceries for the weekend. Hope you rest well on the weekends.


Till then, I hope you’ll dissolve and evolve into better cell soon.

Cheers,
Your Host


Friday, June 28, 2013

Day 2 - Radiotherapy

Dear Tumor,

Someone put a comment in my blog saying I should name you, which I will in my heart, however, for my friends that are reading my blog, it's best I refer you as tumor for now. 

I met the oncologist this morning, a preparation for my chemotherapy tomorrow. He is very patient and friendly, always put on a smile when answering my questions. He told me he will be injecting Cisplatin into my vein, according to my mass, it will be 40mg/m2. It's a good old effective drugs which programmed cell death. There are quite a bit of side effects but none I can't deal with it, for now :) 

I then waited in between my next appointment with my dietitian and radiotherapy, did some changes to my chum, Daniela wedding invitation card, she is going to get married in Sept, hopefully I will be able to attend with good health, I remembered I sang The power of love in her engagement party and made her so happy, hopefully, I will be able to do the same if my side effect from radiotherapy is not intensive. 

My dietitian is a very bubbly girl, she is very genuine and amicable, and I swear she loves me as I keep making her laugh that she almost forgot I've cancer, what's more she keeps giving me milk samples when I can't swallow any food when the side effects of my radiotherapy kicks in. 

The radiotherapy 2nd time is better, the duration is shorter from the first, and I was more relaxed knowing what to expect, even though I don't feel any burnt on my skin but I can see the redness. The Aloe Vera gel that Sis Felicia got me does help to moisturizes and keep the skin hydrated, knowing I'm well taken care of by my precious friend. 


Till then, I hope you’ll dissolve and evolve into better cell soon.

Cheers,
Your Host

Thursday, June 27, 2013

人的生命有多長時間呢?

一天,佛陀問一個弟子:“人的生命有多長時間呢?”

弟子雙手合十,恭聲答道:“佛陀!人的生命也就幾天吧,不會很長。”

佛搖搖頭:“你還沒有悟到生命的真諦。”


佛陀轉過頭,問另一個弟子:“那麼,你認為人的生命究竟有多長呢?”


“佛陀!弟子以為,人的生命長度也就一頓飯的工夫。”一個弟子充滿自信地回答。


佛陀搖了搖頭:“你也沒有悟出生命的真相。”


佛陀又以同樣的問題問另一個弟子。


那個弟子虔誠地答道:“佛陀,人命只在呼吸間。”


佛陀露出了讚許的微笑:“好得很,你已經悟到生命的真諦了。”


古今中外,多少對生命的描述,都不及佛經這般精彩。生命不是用年、月、日來衡量的,生


命只在一呼一吸間,這個簡單的動作承載著生命的重量,每吸氣一次,你度過的生命就增加

一點,每呼氣一次,你餘下的生命就減少一點,當你無法繼續呼吸的時候,生命就結束了。


生命就像呼吸一樣真切,一呼一吸,很簡單,很自然。人的生命最初是由呼吸喚醒的,當呼


吸停止,生命也隨之結束。呼吸就像一陣風,輕輕地來,輕輕地走,不留下一絲痕迹,卻熔

盡你我的一生。從清晨到夜晚,從寒冬到春天,每個人只活在他站立的地方,活在他呼吸的

瞬間。生命是經不起等待的,活著就要勇往直前。其實,每個人在一生中都有很多美好的夢

想,但真正能實現的卻寥寥無幾,很多時候我們不是沒有時間,也不是沒有能力,而是缺乏

行動。比如,你打算去西藏旅行、打算再多學一門外語、打算寫一本自傳……很多美好的計劃

被一再拖延,不是因為很難做到,而是因為借口太多:家人反對、工作忙碌、身體欠佳……

有一個人想學繪畫,可是又猶豫不決,他就去問一個朋友。他說:“我想學繪畫,可是再過四

年我就四十四歲了。你看還行嗎?”他的朋友對他說:“怎麼不行呢?不學繪畫再過四年你也是四

十四歲啊。”朋友的話使他頓悟,第二天,他就去報名學習了。

這個故事告訴我們:活著不需要任何借口,趁著我們還活著抓緊時間去做想做的事情比什麼


都重要。

人生的路到底有多長,誰也說不好,明天又會發生什麼,更沒有人知道,生命是脆弱的。有

人,晚上躺下去,明早就起不了床了;有人,用了早飯,就不再有機會用午飯了;有人,這會兒

上車,下會兒,就下不了車了;有人,講出前句話,再也接不下後句話了。

生命不僅脆弱,而且,脆弱的沒有規律。生命的結束,許多時候,往往沒有任何跡象可尋,


說去就去了。

長春被害嬰兒小皓博,才二個月大,對這個世界還沒有開始認識,就在眾人的惋惜與祝福聲

逝去了,很可悲,那麼小的孩子要祝福他一路走好,二個月大還沒來的及記清爸爸媽媽的樣

子,還沒有開口說一句話,吃上第一口人間的飯,看到第一次的桃花開,就走了。生活總是

無常,有時無常的讓人很痛心,無法接受。別人尚且如此,可想而知,父母崩潰的心是多麼

支離破碎。昨天晚上我想了很多,不知為什麼想起了,喬布斯,他是改變世界的天才,一代

發明家,企業家,這樣的輝煌是多少人羨慕的。可是在56歲的年紀他走了,帶走的也是眾人

的嘆息與感慨。我又想起了高秀敏,她在世的時候我很喜歡她,總是能帶給大家很多歡笑,

也許更喜歡他樸實的外表,憨厚的形像吧,可是,她卻是在眾人的一片哭聲中,走了……

生命無常,我們更當珍惜當下,趁著我們還活著,多看望關心父母,因為那是給予你生命的

人,多關心陪陪孩子,因為那是你生命的延續,多和愛人溝通溝通,因為那是陪伴你一生的

人。趁著我們還活著,讓我們的生活更有意義吧。趁著我們還活著,向我們傷害過的人說聲

對不起,趁著我們還活著,向自已愛的人,說聲我愛你,趁著我們還活著,向著陽光多笑

笑,趁著我們還活著,把目光放的遠一些。佛說,人身難得,佛法難聞,人身難得你已得,

佛法難聞你已聞,看看身邊的無常吧,擁有再多的金錢名利,留不住逝去的人,減輕不了病

痛的折磨,留不住青春年華,減輕不了歲月的蹉跎。甚至於留不住一個你還愛的人,減輕不

了人生的很多苦愁。


佛陀告訴我們:生命只在呼吸間,生命短暫,世事無常,在無盡的歲月里,人的一生不過是


一個瞬間,所以人活著應該盡情揮灑,即便這一生只是一個匆匆的過往,也要讓它成為最閃亮的瞬間。

26/06/13 - First day of treatment

Dear Tumor,

How's your first day of treatment? For me, I'm quite alright, although my body and jaws seems numb in the first 10 - 30 mins after the radiation, till to the pressing of the mask on my body to the table. It feels like someone is trying to suffocate me. also, my jaws seem like dislocated, or maybe it's my teeth. It's annoying, as my lower right lips and chin is still numb, so i can't tell, where the real numbness comes from. Nonetheless, I keep my calm, as much as I could to prevent any delays on the radiation. 

The first treatment takes longer time till to the scan, so I believe the discomforts tomorrow will be much better as it take shorter time. However, the side effects will slowly take effect after 2 weeks. That's where I need to take better care of myself. 


Till then, I hope you’ll dissolve and evolve into better cell soon.

Cheers,
Your Host

So what happens? Shit happens!

Most people will ask you and try to pinpoint the cause of cancer. Sadly, this world is a contradiction, even we as a human being is contradicting, we ask question that sometimes have no answer to it or doesn't benefit our current situation.

The Buddha once explains:

"It's just as if a man were wounded with an arrow thickly smeared with poison. His friends & companions, kinsmen & relatives would provide him with a surgeon, and the man would say, 'I won't have this arrow removed until I know whether the man who wounded me was a noble warrior, a priest, a merchant, or a worker.' He would say, 'I won't have this arrow removed until I know the given name & clan name of the man who wounded me... until I know whether he was tall, medium, or short... until I know whether he was dark, ruddy-brown, or golden-colored... until I know his home village, town, or city... until I know whether the bow with which I was wounded was a long bow or a crossbow... until I know whether the bowstring with which I was wounded was fiber, bamboo threads, sinew, hemp, or bark... until I know whether the shaft with which I was wounded was wild or cultivated... until I know whether the feathers of the shaft with which I was wounded were those of a vulture, a stork, a hawk, a peacock, or another bird... until I know whether the shaft with which I was wounded was bound with the sinew of an ox, a water buffalo, a langur, or a monkey.' He would say, 'I won't have this arrow removed until I know whether the shaft with which I was wounded was that of a common arrow, a curved arrow, a barbed, a calf-toothed, or an oleander arrow.' 

The man would die and those things would still remain unknown to him."

— Cula-Malunkyovada Sutta: The Shorter Instructions to Malunkya" (MN 63), Majjhima Nikaya
;
Even though my grandma died of brain cancer and my 5 years of being a vegetarian might not justify as healthy eating cause I love sweet stuff, sue me I'm half Thai, 5555!

However, if we stop asking all the irrelevant questions, this might be an opportunity to learn about life and how to live differently and hopefully more meaningfully. This might likely help in our recovery. If I know the cause of cancer, I would have bet on TOTO, and strike millions, which most likely not possible as I have never won anything in my life.

So what happens? Shit happens, and I'm determined to convert the shit into fertilizer and add as a nutrient to people around me.

Wednesday, June 26, 2013

25/6/2013 - The day before treatment

Dear Tumor,

I should have interact with you sooner, as my friends, Cell and Tian Lok asked me to communicate with you,  maybe if we can get a better communication, then you'll most likely let go of you anger and leave my body and evolve into a kinder and nicer cells.

Perhaps I wasn’t also able to come into reality that you existed till the day of the treatment that everything I’ve heard about you is now real. I figure this might be the best time to let you know that the doctor is going to use radiation to shrink your cell, please do not think it as an aggressive treatment, it merely wants you to learn through pain, no pain no awakening. 

Somewhere I have read, whatever you face in your life is either a blessing or a lesson, and I think you're both a lesson and blessing. The lesson I have grasped is Anicca (impermanence in pali), it implies everything that occurs in the world, perceived by us, is inherently subject to changes or decay, as soon as it appears, but I'm ignorant, thinking the body belongs to me, my good health will always intact, I can keep postponing the things I deem most important or dream of. 

Now, I have fully experience Annica, and working very hard to be mindful and live day by day, make the best with what I have.

Blessing, the amount of kindness, loving support and encouragement from my friends have been tremendous, words can't express the gratitude I have for them, I'm indebted by their loving kindness, the only way I can do is to keep on saying Thank you as long as I have breathe and living my life well. 

Although you might feel vulnerable or nervous on the first day of your radiotherapy, this is quite common, walking towards the unknown is always scary, like the first day in school, first day at work, first time meeting the special someone. Once you familiarize with the treatment, you’ll accustom to the routine, maybe you’ll even enjoy the process knowing you’ll become a better cell. For me, when I’m nervous, I shit, this happens to me every time, on my first day of everything, even on my first day of volunteering in Thailand and India. Shiting might be a good way to relax yourself. (How do cancer cells shit? Hmmm…)


So good Luck to your first radiotherapy! Till then, I hope you’ll dissolve and evolve into better cell soon.

Cheers,
Your host

Words of Encouragement

I've received a lot of message of well wishes and encouragement from my friends. I would like to share these messages with all of you, especially this week I'm going through my first radiotherapy and chemotherapy. Regardless you're sick, unwell, discourage or despondent, let us spread the message of hope and loving kindness to others and more than words for people whom are going through hardship, pain and suffering.


Instead of asking what you need I would like you to share more with us …… I heard about the very inspiring and meaningful things that you done and positive thinking that you have. I highly respect and appreciate your efforts. Please continue taking responsibility to benefit ours, to reduce suffering, and to bring peace and happiness to the world around us. This is our goal to share with the people as to develop a good heart, to live happily and benefiting each other, regardless of any religions, and also including animals or unseen. 
So kindly accepted my prayers for your good health and long life, so to benefit others to succeed. 


OM MANI PADME HUM

“Living together is happiness”

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  • I know that we have meet just a couple of times but you are one of those colorful people with an special aura and energy. Even if we have not see each other very often and I'm not sure for what reasons, I feel an special affection for you. Sometimes I have been reading Facebook and I have made nice comments about you to XXX. We both think that you are quite special individual, out of the box, very charismatic, talented and generous.
    I am in shock since last Saturday, when I learnt that you have cancer and I have thinking of you most of the time. To be honest, I am not sure what to say as I guess that during the past couple of weeks you should have been listening the same and the same, hundred of times…
    Life can be cruel sometimes and it has been very nasty with you. I still don't understand how has chosen you, someone that has been so gentle with his own body…Anyway, now is time to look forward and I know that your are strong and you will find the best way to deal with it.
    You already know that you will have to go though a very hard process that will make your organism weak but everything will be ok. Please stay strong and keep your mind full of positive thinking, this will help you and your family as well. I am sure that you body will respond well to treatments and will win this battle.
    I am not sure how can I help you…I have some close friends that are doctors in good hospitals in Spain and France. At any time, you can send me your tests if you need to hear a second opinion in diagnosis or treatments. Let me know if you need some money as well.
    I am sending you positive energy and force!!
    All the best!

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    Dear Kyle, as I have hardly been on Facebook recently, I just got the news today - and it is no exaggeration to say that I am shocked. You are one of the most cheerful and friendly people I have ever met and your style, way of life and attitude really inspired me to be more friendly and welcoming myself.
    With that said, if anyone deserves to experience a fast recovery and successful treatment, it is you. I am well aware that Buddhism is about karma and progress and I firmly believe that this can hardly be the result of your current life. At the same time I find it possible that your current life will provide the basis for your good karma, resulting in the cure of your current condition. I wish you all the best. Take care, I send you loads of warmth from the heart.
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Just wanted to drop you a note to let you know that we are thinking of you. Your courage and sense of humor is admirable! We will be constantly sending you Metta and healing thoughts and pray that you will recover soon.

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Thought I'd send you a personal message from instead. I've read your blog and your story.
Even though you're going through a challenging phase in your life, you never stopped giving. That itself is an incredibly noble act and honestly, a tough one for many of us to follow. I applaud your giving spirit and I can only hope that you will get through this and recover soon.
Please let me know if there's anything else I can do to help and I'll be more than happy to oblige.

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Kyle, I am crashed by your news, I pray for you and know that whatever happens, it is only another thing that you will deal with grace and love.

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A note to thank you for always being so strong and showing us an example of how to be positive about life. Your positive spirit will see you through this challenging time. May the triple gems bless and protect you throughout this period.

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I chanced upon this when surfing the net the other day "disease is divine messenger reminding us to love ourselves, speak our truth, love our creations and to do what we love, right here and now; for all we have is the here and now. We can even be grateful for having the dis-ease for teaching us this most important lesson. If we can help our friends and loved ones understand the power of love for who we are and what we create, all of our lives can be much more joyful and harmonious. And, we may no longer need disease to remind us."

I hope you stay strong always and keep up the positive things that you are doing.

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Though we are thousands of miles away from you. We are all with you. Stay strong, you are sure win 

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Hi Kyle, sorry to text you here . I heard about your illness and I want to tell you, be strong and as your friend, i will always support you. When I heard about it from XXX, I was feeling upset, i was wondering, you are such a great person who do many great stuff that touches many people hearts. I felt it's a unfair treatment for you but again we can't control it. I know you are coping and I am sorry to come talking to you in a abrupt manner like this out of nowhere. I just wanted to tell you, be strong as you always did, live your life to the max and enjoyed those great moments with your love ones. Feel free to call me if you need help or talk to someone. Or coffee when you are free. Am just a call away.

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Hi Kyle. I understand we Only had a brief interaction at the Buddhist Film Fest. But u always impress me with your artistic talents and liveliness. 

The reason why I am writing to you is that I was touched by your recent revelation of your cancer condition. 
I am not sure if you had chosen any treatment for your condition. But if you need any help or support, I can gladly help.

I hope this short message did not surprise you. Just want to let know that you are not alone and there is a lot of help and support around. An illness is an important spiritual lesson for us to learn. 
May be the Buddha light be with u.

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I'm sorry to know about your condition. You never fail to amaze me at how positive you are at handling your challenges.
Do let me know should you require any help in any way that I can even help with. You will be in my prayers. Take care.
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I"m really saddened to hear about your diagnoses. You are such a wonderful and giving person. Reading your blog note, a friend of yours said you are infectious and that is probably the best word to describe you. I believe your infectious spirit and strength will guide you and your family through this and you will come out even stronger than before. You've put out so many positive vibes to the universe that Karma definitely owes you one  My thoughts are with you.
Take my friend. Get well soon and I'll be in touch 
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I am so sorry to hear of your illness but you are a fighter and full of life. I know you will triumph. Take care. Lots of love
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hi Kyle,
I shared your blog with XXX. Her grandma has the same cancer as you.
She said to pass you this message:
"Stay strong especially through the radiotherapy and chemotherapy. Live every moment to the fullest. Keep your spirit up." There is a friend here who will keep him in prayers.
Take care..
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Hey I just read your blogpost on cancer. Sorry that I'm so slow on fb. Please know that you are in my thoughts. The world is a much better place with you in it so the cancer can jolly well get lost. I'm sure you'll defeat it!
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Kyle, I just read one of your post, and what do you mean by you are "diagnosed with Nasopharyngeal Carcinoma Cancer"?!
Are you serious?
I just can not believe this.
Why???
I know I do not need to tell you,
but allow me to tell you nevertheless,
Be positive as you always are, and tell us us whatever we can do to help you.
My father has cancer as well, and is still going strong after 7 years.
I know you will beat the cancer as well.

Buddha and your friends are always on your side, Kyle.
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I am SO deeply saddened to hear your news. I have no doubt that you with fight with the grace and panache that you live with, and that you're strong enough to tackle this obstacle like so many others you have tackled before. Know that I am thinking of you and sending you love and prayers and that you are inspiration to me. Stay strong and please please please keep me posted.

Much love,

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I'm so sorry to hear this news! But I am glad that you are taking this with the same positivity that i have come to know you for.

Just earlier today i was listening to titatnium and who else would I be thinking about if not you. :) I will be sending you my positive thoughts and energy to help you through this challenge.

Stay strong Kyle! We are all here for you.

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Hello inspirational brother,

I think I feel like earth when I hear your news and when I read your blog.

I'd like to think that you are self aware of yourself and your environment, very difficult to find people like that, or maybe it's just that I haven't been exploring enough or am being blinded by I Dono some reason. 

As ure a human I'd like to give u support, but at the same time I'd think ud be perfectly fine without it as well.

I'll pray for u, but for what I don't know, I'll think of you and at the same time I'll think of divine powers of nature, or GOD as some people call it. 

Change is imminent, and I know you will gracefully absorb it. I hope, as you are currently doing, share your life experience, because ure mind, ure body, ure personality, ure energy, ure gifts, ure aura, ure voice, and many more is truly inspirational and full of positive energy.

Have no regrets, but do have regrets as you'll learn...

I don't know how to end...
Maybe something's don't need an ending ya...i wonder how would Buddha reply to this?

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It definitely stinks, I'm not going to sugar coat it. But I had the privilege to know you as a person, and if anything, I know that you are strong and kind. There will be moments when the process feels like a drag, I hope you know that you have people from every corner of the world rooting for you and, I hope it will help keep you fighting. There will be moments when it really really sucks, I hope you are able to look around and see how much your family and loved ones care about you and that's enough to get you through it. I know in my heart of heart that you will brave your way through it and make the best out of this whole thing. My grandfather who lost his life to cancer once told me that it is not what happens to you, not misfortune or fortune, things happen, and it's up to you to make of them, fortune or misfortune. I know you will make the best out of every situation you go through with kindness and courage.

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I can't tell you how much you mean to me -- you are one of the joys from the Walk that I look back on so fondly! I admire your zest for life, your enthusiasm, how joyful you are to face every day, how kind you are to every living creature you encounter, and how you are just truly just a gem of a human being. You are so wonderful, and I am so sorry that you have to endure this trial.
But -- you are strong enough for this trial. You will beat it, and be an even brighter version of yourself (if that's even possible). Please know that I am thinking about you and sending you my warmest wishes, every day, always.

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I'm sure you're getting this a lot right now, but I don't even know what to say. I have been thinking about you since reading this, and I know you will recover. You're truly one of the strongest people I know. I'm incredibly proud of your mindset, just from reading what you've written. You're really an inspiration for the rest of us, who can't be so steady and positive, even with the most fickle difficulties.

Know that I'll be thinking of you - all of us will - and we're here whenever you need to talk or something to laugh about. I'm adding your blog to my favorites so I can keep track of you and stay inspired by you.

Lots of love and hugs!

Tuesday, June 25, 2013

Inspiration

Not to complain but just an idea, Singapore should have a cancer patient/survivor friendly restaurant without having to scrutinize what to eat or where for food every time when catching up with their beloved friends! And it should be vegetarian, considering most meat are acidic food that increase the risk of having cancer. Also, location must be convenient or provide delivery service. Anyone wants to take on this business prospect? We can get grant from government or HPB :)

【你的幸福是什麼?】

窮人說:有錢就是幸福。
富人說:有閒就是幸福。
農民說:豐收就是幸福。

殘者說:能走路就是幸福。
乞丐說:有飯吃就是幸福。
盲人說:能看見就是幸福。

醫生說:治好病就是幸福。
病人說:能活著就是幸福。
員工說:不上班就是幸福。

男人說:家有賢妻就是幸福。
女人說:嫁個仁君就是幸福。
我想說:知足平常心就是幸福。

幸福若是建立在會變化的事物上,那有一天它會成為痛苦。

幸福在於調整你的心態…只要隨遇而安, 知足就是大幸福。

Moving out

I got diagnosed with cancer the same time after my father contracted Tuberculosis (TB). One thing about Cancer is that your immune system is very low, so this is a very crucial time not to fall sick which means you need to consistently maintain your body with food that can boost your immune system. Not to mention, TB is a contagious disease.

Thankfully, my chum, Mary, my 2 lovely godsons mother and her understanding husband, Bryan asked me to stay with them. Hence, the past 2 weeks, I moved out to their cozy home (around 10 mins walk) to one of their room which was used for storage and putting my personal touch, converting into a bedroom.

My godsons love to hang around in my room, lying on 320 thread-count bed sheet cover especially at night when I switch on my "paper lantern" lamp. They like to see what I watched on my laptop usually horror movies that scares them, they even entertain me with their funny punches and stories! I adore them! They make my cancer "go away"...

The room is spacious, ventilation is good (Maybe the air purifier helps :) and my chums, my godsons made me feel very welcomed. I might need to get a portable air conditioner soon, it will helps to reduce the heat from my radiotherapy. Other than that, I'm very grateful for this temporary "Hotel" for the road to recovery.

Thank you Mary, Bryan, Alfonso & Ramsey! Love you all always!






What Cancer Cannot Do

It cannot cripple love.
It cannot shatter hope.
It cannot corrode faith.
It cannot destroy peace.
It cannot kill friendship.
It cannot suppress memories.
It cannot silence courage.
It cannot invade the soul.
It cannot steal eternal life.
It cannot conquer the spirit.

- Author Unknown

Let me know if you need anything

Most people when reacted to my news of cancer will end up with "Let me know if there is anything you need" I now jokingly answer oh yes, I'll need a limo to pick me up from the hospital, Thai food specially cooked and flown over from famous chef, Thailand, hot hunks massaging, so on and so on : )

Nonetheless, that means a lot when you know there are friends willingly waiting patiently by your side waning to do something for you. It's incredibly sweet and heart warming! I keep saying friends are like brothers and sister you never have, an extended family. 

Cancer is not a punishment, it's a way to show how tremendous I'm loved and supported by the friends who care.

Beloved Gifts

Friends have been showering me with thoughtful gifts, How can I not be prepared for the treatment?

I would like to give my Thanks to

Manjun & Jin Bang for the Bird Nest

Betty for the sea salt and toothpaste (specially for patient undergoing radiotherapy)

Ms Goh for the anti cancer red beet crystal

Darryl for the anti-cancer nutritional supplement

Felicia for the soothing moisturizing Alove Vera gel for the burnt skin after the radiotherapy